Men are sometimes surprised to learn this about pleasuring
Trigger warning: this post will be more explicit than usual. (It's excerpted from one of the schmoozeletter emails) Often, when working...
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Elisheva Liss
- Jul 20, 2023
- 5 min
How can someone go from hating sexual activity to enjoying it?
TW: This post references sexual trauma. “What’s the most common problem you see in couples?” someone asked me this weekend. Therapists...
1,467 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jul 2, 2023
- 4 min
The Unconsummated Couple
The Unconsummated Couple They present for therapy with so much shame, sometimes blaming themselves, sometimes each other, or just one of...
1,907 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- May 13, 2023
- 7 min
Prepping Kids for Summer Sexual Safety
*This appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, We are sending our son to sleepaway camp this summer for the...
1,089 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 6, 2023
- 3 min
A Lesson about Intimacy Featuring: Queen Esther, Achashverosh, Consent, and "Dead-Fishing"
Trigger Warning: This post deals with explicit and psychologically raw topics. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 74b)questions how Queen Esther could...
1,793 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 18, 2023
- 6 min
What I Wish New Husbands Could Say to their New Brides
This document is meant to be used by husbands-to-be, in both an educational capacity and as a springboard for spousal communication. It’s...
2,891 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jul 26, 2022
- 4 min
"What's the Point of Sex Anyway?"
It usually happens some time in the middle of a session. We’ll be discussing a couple’s intimate life, and I can see the consternation...
3,531 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Apr 7, 2022
- 3 min
She Wasn't Feeling Pleasure
Once upon a time, there was a young, sincere couple, who married and loved each other. But they had one problem: Even after a few years...
3,109 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 27, 2022
- 5 min
A Different Kind of Sexual Trauma
Trigger warning: this post discusses sexual trauma Zeesy, a 19-year-old newlywed, was referred for intense erotophobia- a fear of ...
3,842 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jan 4, 2022
- 4 min
The Problem with Labeling Pedophilia as a "Sickness"
*Trigger warning, sexual abuse described:* Yitzi’s parents really thought they’d taught him enough: “No one is allowed to touch you in...
1,997 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Sep 15, 2021
- 7 min
My Teen Discovered Pornography- What Should I Do??
This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times: Dear Elisheva, I honestly never thought I would be writing a letter...
2,744 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Apr 6, 2021
- 2 min
Sex Is NOT Supposed to Hurt!
This will be a short, but I believe, very important post: One of the many awful results of inadequate, misinformed, or nonexistent sex...
2,557 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 14, 2021
- 3 min
"I Was Molested by my Brother but neither of us Knew It."
Trigger Warning: This post contains sensitive content about child sexual abuse. *Like all vignettes featured in this blog, it reflects...
8,938 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Dec 2, 2020
- 2 min
"How Often Are You Supposed to 'Be Intimate'?"
Have you ever wondered how often people have sex? (I purposely used the nebulously awkward euphemism “be intimate” in the title because...
6,031 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jul 3, 2020
- 4 min
“I Used to Rape My Wife”
Trigger warning: this may be difficult to read for survivors of trauma. Proceed with caution: Gittel and Shuey have been married for...
17,923 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- May 7, 2020
- 4 min
What If I Can't Climax
The phone rang, and a shy-sounding young woman introduced herself. “Hi. I’m not really sure if I need therapy. Could I tell you my issue,...
3,878 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 9, 2020
- 3 min
A Simple Sexuality Education Message From the Megila
One year, when I went to shul for megila reading, I was a few minutes early, so I stopped to watch the adorable costumed children running...
2,883 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 9, 2020
- 3 min
Better Prep For Wedding Night and Beyond
More Shovevim thoughts on enhancing marital intimacy: Something I have struggled with for a few years now is wanting to create and share...
3,555 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 3, 2020
- 3 min
Totally Grossed Out By Private Parts
Please Note: This post contains explicit content, is for mature readers only, and may be triggering for survivors of trauma. Fay and her...
2,856 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 2, 2020
- 4 min
The Problem with Religious Sexuality Education
As many of you know, one of the most important aspects of the work we do with couples and individuals, is treating the results and...
1,289 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Dec 5, 2019
- 4 min
Why It's Important to Teach Kids Accurate Names of Body Parts
Tzivi came home from preschool and told her mom that her Morah had gotten upset at her that day. “Morah said I used a bad word. But I...
2,199 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Aug 12, 2019
- 3 min
Consent For Touch - Even With A Spouse
You know that feeling where you finish a conversation, and then a little later, mentally review it and wish you could go back and change...
1,893 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jul 9, 2019
- 5 min
Please DON'T Fake It Till You Make It
Several years ago, I had been invited to an event that also featured a talk for kallah teachers, giving by a woman who trains them. At...
1,135 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 19, 2019
- 6 min
Not Attracted to Her Spouse: Part 2 Some Answers to Your Questions
My recent blog post “I’m Not Attracted to my Spouse” has attracted significantly more views, shares, and responses in its first week than...
1,812 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Feb 11, 2019
- 7 min
I'm Not Attracted to My Spouse
Raizy, a soft-spoken 24 year old graphic designer, shifted in her seat, hesitant to share her next words. I waited, while she formulated...
4,622 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jan 6, 2019
- 6 min
Trouble In the Bedroom: Marital Sexual Problems and How We Can Help
Every year around this time, I wonder if this will be the year I try and “do something about it.” These are the weeks we call Shovevim...
1,584 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- May 13, 2018
- 5 min
Orthodox Women and Sexual Self-Pleasuring
Kayla (pseudonym) was referred to me a number of years ago, by her caring Rebbetzen and mentor, for what she described as a “very...
2,179 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- May 6, 2018
- 4 min
Intimacy vs. Sex
The well-groomed young couple settled into the matching navy, velvet club chairs in my office, and glanced at one another. After a beat,...
1,768 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Dec 13, 2017
- 6 min
She Was Told Never Say No to Your Husband
Miriam and Chaim had been married for just over ten years, and was happily and busily raising their brood of five lively children, when...
3,378 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Nov 13, 2017
- 7 min
Sexual Abuse with No Abuser
Beila and Sruly (pseudonyms) are a charming couple in their 20’s. They were referred by Beila’s private therapist, for an unconsummated...
2,254 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Jul 28, 2017
- 4 min
Teaching Children about “The Birds and the Bees”
There are, essentially, only two ways for kids to hear about sex: their parents, and Someplace Else. While that “someplace else” may be...
1,308 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 14, 2016
- 10 min
Sensory Stimulation for the Sexually Squeamish
Are you one of those people who don’t like to be touched? Do you get a little queasy when someone moves in for a hug? Does the idea of...
1,911 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 14, 2016
- 4 min
The Pros and Cons of Scheduled Sex
In working with couples on their sexual relationships, an issue that arises frequently is the challenge of sex and timing. Sometimes the...
1,904 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 14, 2016
- 4 min
Why Am I Not In the Mood for Sex (7 Common Causes of Low Desire In Women)
Not feeling “in the mood”? You’re not the only one. So many women feel confused, frustrated, guilt-ridden, annoyed, or discouraged-...
2,287 views0 comments
Elisheva Liss
- Mar 14, 2016
- 3 min
Sex Is a Skill
Debbie slumped in her chair in a cloud of defeat. “I really do love my husband, and I think he’s handsome, too, but I’m just not a sexual...
2,395 views0 comments
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