Elisheva LissApr 73 minShe Wasn't Feeling Pleasure*This post is an excerpt from my schmoozeletter email. Subscribe to it for free here: elishevaliss.com/newsletter * Once upon a time,...
Elisheva LissFeb 275 minA Different Kind of Sexual TraumaTrigger warning: this post discusses sexual trauma Zeesy, a 19-year-old newlywed, was referred for intense erotophobia- a fear of ...
Elisheva LissJan 44 minThe Problem with Labeling Pedophilia as a "Sickness"*Trigger warning, sexual abuse described:* Yitzi’s parents really thought they’d taught him enough: “No one is allowed to touch you in...
Elisheva LissSep 15, 20217 minMy Teen Discovered Pornography- What Should I Do??This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times: Dear Elisheva, I honestly never thought I would be writing a letter...
Elisheva LissApr 6, 20212 minSex Is NOT Supposed to Hurt!This will be a short, but I believe, very important post: One of the many awful results of inadequate, misinformed, or nonexistent sex...
Elisheva LissMar 14, 20213 min"I Was Molested by my Brother but neither of us Knew It."Trigger Warning: This post contains sensitive content about child sexual abuse. *Like all vignettes featured in this blog, it reflects...
Elisheva LissDec 2, 20202 min"How Often Are You Supposed to 'Be Intimate'?"Have you ever wondered how often people have sex? (I purposely used the nebulously awkward euphemism “be intimate” in the title because...
Elisheva LissJul 3, 20204 min“I Used to Rape My Wife”Trigger warning: this may be difficult to read for survivors of trauma. Proceed with caution: Gittel and Shuey have been married for...
Elisheva LissMay 7, 20204 minWhat If I Can't ClimaxThe phone rang, and a shy-sounding young woman introduced herself. “Hi. I’m not really sure if I need therapy. Could I tell you my issue,...
Elisheva LissMar 9, 20203 minA Simple Sexuality Education Message From the MegilaOne year, when I went to shul for megila reading, I was a few minutes early, so I stopped to watch the adorable costumed children running...
Elisheva LissFeb 9, 20203 minBetter Prep For Wedding Night and BeyondMore Shovevim thoughts on enhancing marital intimacy: Something I have struggled with for a few years now is wanting to create and share...
Elisheva LissFeb 3, 20203 minTotally Grossed Out By Private PartsPlease Note: This post contains explicit content, is for mature readers only, and may be triggering for survivors of trauma. Fay and her...
Elisheva LissFeb 2, 20204 minThe Problem with Religious Sexuality EducationAs many of you know, one of the most important aspects of the work we do with couples and individuals, is treating the results and...
Elisheva LissDec 5, 20194 minWhy It's Important to Teach Kids Accurate Names of Body PartsTzivi came home from preschool and told her mom that her Morah had gotten upset at her that day. “Morah said I used a bad word. But I...
Elisheva LissAug 12, 20193 minConsent For Touch - Even With A SpouseYou know that feeling where you finish a conversation, and then a little later, mentally review it and wish you could go back and change...
Elisheva LissJul 9, 20195 minPlease DON'T Fake It Till You Make ItSeveral years ago, I had been invited to an event that also featured a talk for kallah teachers, giving by a woman who trains them. At...
Elisheva LissFeb 19, 20196 minNot Attracted to Her Spouse: Part 2 Some Answers to Your QuestionsMy recent blog post “I’m Not Attracted to my Spouse” has attracted significantly more views, shares, and responses in its first week than...
Elisheva LissFeb 11, 20197 minI'm Not Attracted to My SpouseRaizy, a soft-spoken 24 year old graphic designer, shifted in her seat, hesitant to share her next words. I waited, while she formulated...
Elisheva LissJan 6, 20196 minTrouble In the Bedroom: Marital Sexual Problems and How We Can HelpEvery year around this time, I wonder if this will be the year I try and “do something about it.” These are the weeks we call Shovevim...
Elisheva LissMay 13, 20185 minOrthodox Women and Sexual Self-PleasuringKayla (pseudonym) was referred to me a number of years ago, by her caring Rebbetzen and mentor, for what she described as a “very...
Elisheva LissMay 6, 20184 minIntimacy vs. SexThe well-groomed young couple settled into the matching navy, velvet club chairs in my office, and glanced at one another. After a beat,...
Elisheva LissDec 13, 20176 minShe Was Told Never Say No to Your HusbandMiriam and Chaim had been married for just over ten years, and was happily and busily raising their brood of five healthy children, when...
Elisheva LissNov 13, 20177 minSexual Abuse with No AbuserBeila and Sruly (pseudonyms) are a handsome and charming couple in their 20’s. They were referred by Beila’s private therapist, for an...
Elisheva LissJul 28, 20174 minTeaching Children about “The Birds and the Bees”There are, essentially, only two ways for kids to hear about sex: their parents, and Someplace Else. While that “someplace else” may be...
Elisheva LissMar 14, 20163 minSex Is a SkillDebbie slumped in her chair in a cloud of defeat. “I really do love my husband, and I think he’s handsome, too, but I’m just not a sexual...
Elisheva LissMar 14, 20164 minThe Pros and Cons of Scheduled SexIn working with couples on their sexual relationships, an issue that arises frequently is the challenge of sex and timing. Sometimes the...
Elisheva LissMar 14, 201610 minSensory Stimulation for the Sexually SqueamishAre you one of those people who don’t like to be touched? Do you get a little queasy when someone moves in for a hug? Does the idea of...
Elisheva LissMar 14, 20164 minWhy Am I Not In the Mood for Sex (7 Common Causes of Low Desire In Women)Not feeling “in the mood”? You’re not the only one. So many women feel confused, frustrated, guilt-ridden, annoyed, or discouraged-...