Does this confuse you too?

*This was originally written in 2021

Do you ever find yourself getting confused by contradictory wisdom?

Like, sayings that are quoted either from classical sources or colloquially, as sage advice, that sometimes promote opposite messaging? I know I do.

But I remember having a certain realization years ago, in a religious context, but I think it applies to other disciplines of wisdom too, and it is this:

Contradictory messages can sometimes both offer truth, depending on context. We just gotta apply them logically, where they belong.

Meaning, the varied quotes or cliches we throw around can be referenced differently and appropriately based on diverse situations and perspectives.

One area where this is especially true is personal growth. We get motivational messages to keep pushing outside our comfort zone to achieve more, and then also self-compassionate messages to be forgiving, give ourselves grace, and accept ourselves as we are.

As in:

"Perfect is the enemy of the good."

But then:

"Good is the enemy of great."

Which emphasis is right? In my humble opinion- both; in moderation and in context.

If/ when I tend towards perfectionism as an obstacle to functioning, then the first message can help.

If/ when I tend toward complacency with mediocrity, and want motivation to try harder, the second is for me.

One interesting philosophical example of this is the question of what defines us morally:

A behavioral approach would say we're defined by our actions.

An existential one might say we're defined by our beliefs, intentions, and thoughts- the activity in our minds and inner worlds.

And a social, relational angle might suggest that we identify by what we express into the world verbally- what we communicate, speak, or write to others.

We have popular sayings to support and challenge each of these assertions:

"Actions speak louder than words."

"It's the thought that counts."

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

"Talk is cheap."

"Language matters."

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

Again, my (very) humble opinion is that they're all true sometimes.

Thought, intent, and the inner world are the origins of what we can do and become. We process experience and formulate our identities in the realm of thought.

We express and articulate our values and feelings verbally.This is how we form relationships and impact others.

And we actualize and make a tangible difference when we take meaningful action.

This trichotomy (which google confirms is a real word, so I can ignore the red squiggly lines under it in my draft) is reflected in Jewish philosophical literature and referenced in this week's Torah portion:

In a cluster of verses that describes that while certain imperatives may seem difficult to accomplish, they are, in fact, achievable, and closer to us than we think:

"This matter is very close to you- in your mouths, and your hearts, to do it."

The three components listed, "mouth, hearts, and doing," can refer to the three primary realms of human function:

Thought, speech, and deed.

All three are critical components of human self definition and self expression. We formulate cognitively, we express verbally, and we execute physically.

These occur via three components of self, respectively: the mind, the spirit, and the body.

But we need balance:

If all we do is plan, analyze, and pontificate, then we can become isolated and ineffectual.

If all we do is talk, then we can become unreliable and bombastic.

And if all we do is take action, then we can become impulsive and poorly regulated.

We need this full trifecta of human potential, the checks and balances of all three modes, in order to manifest our life missions in a well-rounded way.

Next week is Rosh Hashana, the New Year (or Head of Change).

It's a season when we have the tradition of connecting to G-d and our life's purpose in an annual intensive introspection process. Examining our thoughts, words, and actions, is a great opportunity to recommit to being the coming year's updated model of our most intentional and spiritually conscious selves.

Maybe that verse is offering the formula for this: 1. think 2. say 3. do. Plan, articulate, and take action, to elevate and actualize our whole selves.

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For longer form content, try this: Find Your Horizon