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I can't wait
Note this was originally a schmoozeletter email several years ago, inspired by this week's Torah portion: Warm weather is just around the bend here in chilly New York, and I'm so looking forward to it, because summer is my season of joy. Do you have a favorite season? I was once listening to a lecture on the power of being present in the moment. The speaker said that he is so present and mindful, that he doesn't even look forward to upcoming happy events, because he's committ

Elisheva Liss
Apr 303 min read
Two Intimacy Toxins
There are many traits and behaviors that contribute to healthy relationships and many that sabotage them. There are two specific tendencies that are especially toxic and they are: Unbridled ego and unbridled desire. (In Hebrew they rhyme: Ga’ava and Ta’ava: ) The holy sacrifices in Vayikra are called korbanot, connected to the root “karov,” meaning close, because they symbolize the different ways we build intimate relationships with the Divine, and from which we can extrapol

Elisheva Liss
Mar 183 min read
Pesach Prep Pandemonium Prevention Pointers
A friend recently asked for a “quick pointer” to include as a paragraph or two in an article she was writing about Pesach preparation for a Jewish magazine. She wanted to address the common issue of pre- Yom Tov overwhelm. The questions she used as a prompt for this were a little challenging because responding to them helpfully would have meant writing at least two whole articles on their own. So I gave her a couple of ideas, but then realized that I could actually write my

Elisheva Liss
Mar 125 min read
Tu B'Shvat Linguistics (Wordplay)
Tu b’shvat is one the less known Jewish holidays, and is more about the symbolism than the ritual. There are no direct obligatory practices for this day, but many deep ideas. The essential one is that it’s the “ New Year for the trees” and is used to determine which year the fruits belong to when calculating agricultural laws within the land of Israel. Beyond that, many celebrate and acknowledge the blessing of our sustenance that grows from the Earth at the time when it’s

Elisheva Liss
Feb 22 min read
Modesty Re-visited (yikes:)
Note: some words are hyphenated per readers' requests to bypass filters. A few years ago, I was asked by a colleague to contribute to a book she was compiling. It was a series of essays, written by Jewish women, addressing the complexity of religious modesty. I respected both her and the project, but I chickened out. The topic just felt too fraught, too sensitive, too trauma-laden, and the ideological zeitgeists too shapeshifting for me to feel comfortable publishing words th

Elisheva Liss
Jan 216 min read
It made her question her whole life
Note: This was originally an email to my subscriber list in 2021: Here in New York, we've been blessed with a pretty mild Autumn so far (isn't "Autumn" so much fancier and less stressful than "Fall"?) But for those who live with seasonal affect disorder, the low feeling that comes with colder weather and fewer sunlight hours, this time of year can be emotionally challenging. And that low feeling, can sometimes look like a seasonal depression. Depression can bring some unwant

Elisheva Liss
Nov 21, 20253 min read
Money is Funny Sometimes
Note: This was originally written as a subscriber email in 2022: Over the last week or two, I noticed a couple of funny interactions. They were situations where people wanted to pay me for something, and I found myself asking them not to. Which is weird, because 1. money is useful and 2. I had done something for them that normally people pay for. But these were specific instances in which I actively prevented payment. It got me thinking about the different reasons we will opt

Elisheva Liss
Oct 29, 20253 min read
Jackets vs Heaters
Note: This was originally published as a subscriber email in 2022: I don't really like being told what to do- do you? (Well, except when I'm stuck in decision-making analysis paralysis- then I'm wishing for a prophet to tell me what to do. And it's usually at those times that it's most important for me to make my own decisions.. sigh.) Some people are natural rule followers, and appreciate the guidance and motivation to "do what's right." But others are by nature more rebelli

Elisheva Liss
Oct 22, 20253 min read
Two Ways to Objectify a Spouse
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a man who didn’t understand marital intimacy very well. This man married two women. This was a time and place in which polygamy was a norm but there was more to the story. He had a “use” for each wife, both purely physical. One was for procreation, and the other was for recreation. (Mainly his own.) One wife was given ancient birth control potions but lots of beauty products and fine foods. Her body was prioritized for aesthetics an

Elisheva Liss
Oct 17, 20253 min read
Bring Us Home
Bring Them Us Home In the aftermath of the 10/07/23 horrific massacre that Hamas waged on the peaceful people of Israel, the motto “bring...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 21, 20254 min read
Me and my big mouth
Note: This was originally written several years ago as a subscriber email. Decades ago when I was in high school, we had a school...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 11, 20253 min read
I cried about nothing today
Note: This post is more personal and less clear than usual- not sure if I'll leave it up, but sharing it for now: “Just because other...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 2, 20257 min read
Is that really so much to ask?
This was originally an email subscriber post in 2022: Sometimes, (and when I say "sometimes" here, I mean "very often") when I'm working...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 14, 20253 min read
They did the worst possible thing
The following was originally posted in 2021 for email subscribers: Do you ever listen to audiobooks? Something I wish I had discovered...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 14, 20254 min read
Four Jewish Exiles
The Four “H”s of Jewish History This was originally written in 2011, but lightly edited today 9 Av, 5785: Have you ever heard of "the...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 3, 20259 min read
This was so not fun
This was originally published as a subscriber email in 2022: On Sunday, I thought I had chickenpox- that's the best way I can think of to...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 18, 20253 min read
Please Don't "Marry Off" Your "Kids"
A friend recently shared that she’d heard a respected shadchan talking about how important it is to “marry kids off” young and quickly,...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 16, 202510 min read
Struggling with Strong Feelings
This was originally published in a schmoozeletter email in 2021: Lately, I've been thinking about the idea of being a moderate. For a...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 16, 20253 min read
Relationship Advice from a Donkey
This post was originally a schmoozeletter email in 2021 One of my love languages is book recommendations (also: cut fruit..) I believe...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 7, 20253 min read
When You Feel Intimidated
Note: This was originally posted as a schoozeletter Parsha email for subscribers in 2022: Have you ever heard yourself or someone else...

Elisheva Liss
Jun 17, 20253 min read
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