Tu b’shvat is one the less known Jewish holidays, and is more about the symbolism than the ritual. There are no direct obligatory practices for this day, but many deep ideas. The essential one is that it’s the “ New Year for the trees” and is used to determine which year the fruits belong to when calculating agricultural laws within the land of Israel.  Beyond that, many celebrate and acknowledge the blessing of our sustenance that grows from the Earth at the time when it’s

Note: some words are hyphenated per readers' requests to bypass filters. A few years ago, I was asked by a colleague to contribute to a book she was compiling. It was a series of essays, written by Jewish women, addressing the complexity of religious modesty. I respected both her and the project, but I chickened out. The topic just felt too fraught, too sensitive, too trauma-laden, and the ideological zeitgeists too shapeshifting for me to feel comfortable publishing words th

Note: This was originally an email to my subscriber list in 2021: Here in New York, we've been blessed with a pretty mild Autumn so far (isn't "Autumn" so much fancier and less stressful than "Fall"?) But for those who live with seasonal affect disorder, the low feeling that comes with colder weather and fewer sunlight hours, this time of year can be emotionally challenging. And that low feeling, can sometimes look like a seasonal depression. Depression can bring some unwant

*Per some readers’ requests I’ve altered the spelling of some words to bypass their filters. One of the most common complaints we hear from clients is that one partner would be perfectly happy if seks disappeared from their lives. (This complaint could come from either partner or both.) In fact, we hear this so often that it’s a question I’ll often ask clients who present with seksual aversion, disinterest, or low desire, to gauge their association with the experience: If a g

Note: This was originally written as a subscriber email in 2022: Over the last week or two, I noticed a couple of funny interactions. They were situations where people wanted to pay me for something, and I found myself asking them not to. Which is weird, because 1. money is useful and 2. I had done something for them that normally people pay for. But these were specific instances in which I actively prevented payment. It got me thinking about the different reasons we will opt

Note: This was originally published as a subscriber email in 2022: I don't really like being told what to do- do you? (Well, except when I'm stuck in decision-making analysis paralysis- then I'm wishing for a prophet to tell me what to do. And it's usually at those times that it's most important for me to make my own decisions.. sigh.) Some people are natural rule followers, and appreciate the guidance and motivation to "do what's right." But others are by nature more rebelli

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a man who didn’t understand marital intimacy very well. This man married two women. This was a time and place in which polygamy was a norm but there was more to the story. He had a “use” for each wife, both purely physical. One was for procreation, and the other was for recreation. (Mainly his own.) One wife was given ancient birth control potions but lots of beauty products and fine foods. Her body was prioritized for aesthetics an

Bring Them Us Home In the aftermath of the 10/07/23 horrific massacre that Hamas waged on the peaceful people of Israel, the motto “bring...

Note: This was originally written several years ago as a subscriber email. Decades ago when I was in high school, we had a school...

Note: This post is more personal and less clear than usual- not sure if I'll leave it up, but sharing it for now: “Just because other...

This was originally an email subscriber post in 2022: Sometimes, (and when I say "sometimes" here, I mean "very often") when I'm working...

The following was originally posted in 2021 for email subscribers: Do you ever listen to audiobooks? Something I wish I had discovered...

The Four “H”s of Jewish History This was originally written in 2011, but lightly edited today 9 Av, 5785:  Have you ever heard of "the...

This was originally published as a subscriber email in 2022: On Sunday, I thought I had chickenpox- that's the best way I can think of to...

A friend recently shared that she’d heard a respected shadchan talking about how important it is to “marry kids off” young and quickly,...

This was originally published in a schmoozeletter email in 2021: Lately, I've been thinking about the idea of being a moderate. For a...

This post was originally a schmoozeletter email in 2021 One of my love languages is book recommendations (also: cut fruit..) I believe...

This was originally published as subscriber email in 2022: One time during an interview, we were discussing the level of responsibility...

This was originally published as a subscriber email post in 2021: Once upon a time, I was a nerdy little kid with a big mouth. (Now I'm a...

Dear Family, It’s hard to know the right words to say when people you love are in pain and there is so little that can be done to...