Happy Still-Alive Day to You

Today is my husband’s 53rd birthday.

53 is not usually a significant number (although it is for him, because he loves when his age is prime, and is extra happy this year, because I am 47, and so we’re both nearly indivisible. He's an actuary:)

But it’s a significant birthday for a different reason this year.

Today is also the 20th anniversary of the surgery that saved his life.

A few months before Daniel’s 33rd birthday, he had gone in for some testing to see why he kept having intense bouts of abdominal pain.

We had worried that the “bad news” would be that he had an ulcer and would require surgery.

As it turned out, he did have an ulcer, but it was connected to a stage 3 malignant tumor in his stomach, an adenocarcinoma, which was a far more serious problem. I was several weeks pregnant with our fourth child when we got the diagnosis.

It was a torturous process; surgeries, chemo, radiation, disrupted by blockages and complications, and so much physical pain and emotional uncertainty.

We have stories- uplifting stories, sweet stories, and heart wrenching stories, and maybe we’ll share them more publicly some time.

But ultimately (spoiler) : he survived, thank G-d.

We were fortunate to have had an expert surgeon on his case. Dr. Coit happens to have the same first name as my husband and they happen to share a birthday too, and he told us: “I believe that there’s significance to stuff like that.” (I believe there's significance to having an excellent doctor who also believes that there's significance to factors beyond science.)

He came out of the main surgery after several hours, during which he’d removed about 70% of Daniel’s stomach, shocked that he hadn’t needed to remove it all.

After many months of treatment, Dr. Coit discharged Daniel, but continued to monitor him for the recommended five years, which was another significant milestone.

After that, he said that aside from regular endoscopies, he’d need to come in for annual check ins. This was not so much for Daniel’s own health, but to keep track of him as a statistic; it’s not typical for someone so young to have this kind of cancer, and so annual visits would confirm his survival. Daniel countered:

“How about this: Instead of me needing to take off a day of work every year to go into the city to wait a couple of hours in the waiting room just to let you know I’m still here, I’ll just send you a message every year on May 18th, and you can mark me present.” Dr. Coit agreed, and so it has been, every single year.

This was their exchange today:

On May 18, 2025, at 11:03 AM,

Daniel Liss  > wrote:



Dr. Coit,

Happy Birthday!!!!

Thanks again for everything you have done for me.

Can you believe it is now 20 years!!!

Thank God, all is well with me and my family.

I hope all is well with you and yours.

Hope you enjoy the day and have a wonderful and healthy year up ahead

Daniel

Sent from my iPhone

From: "Coit, Daniel"

Date: May 18, 2025 at 11:27:53 AM

To: Daniel Liss

Subject: Re: Happy Birthday



Dan

Your tradition of recognizing our shared annual event means more to me than I can say. I am celebrating the day with the best gift of all, wife, kids, and granddaughters, feeling uniquely blessed. 

My very best wishes to you and your family as we continue to chart the way forward.  

Dan

Many people use their birthdays as an opportunity to take stock and appreciate the gift of life itself, and Daniel does that doubly so.

In Jewish tradition, there was ancient practice to bring a sacrifice of gratitude after surviving serious illness. We no longer have a centralized temple or sacrificial offerings, so today we share celebratory prayers and meals. Part of the purpose for this is to publicize our gratitude, and to share joy, faith, and hope with others.

I write a lot, but I rarely share personal details about my family. Today we made an exception, because we wanted to give public thanks to G-d 20 years later, to acknowledge Dr. Coit, the loving support of family and friends who kept us afloat throughout, and perhaps offer some encouragement to some other family who’s praying for a similar miracle.

Sending blessings and prayers for health and wellness to you and yours.

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