I can't wait

Note this was originally a schmoozeletter email several years ago, inspired by this week's Torah portion:

Warm weather is just around the bend here in chilly New York, and I'm so looking forward to it, because summer is my season of joy.

Do you have a favorite season?

I was once listening to a lecture on the power of being present in the moment.

The speaker said that he is so present and mindful, that he doesn't even look forward to upcoming happy events, because he's committed to each moment.

When that next thing comes along, he can then go ahead and enjoy that.

I was thinking about that, and while I could see where that might work well for some personalities, I feel differently for myself. I don't view looking forward as distraction.

I actually LOVE anticipation. (So much, that in my list of happiness flavors, I gave it its own category.)

To me, anticipation is often part of the pleasure of the "thing" itself.

Maybe that's part of why I don't like surprises- like, if you were doing working on something nice for me, I could have been enjoying knowing that all week!

Something I've learned from my kids is that for some people, happy anticipation even works when the happy event doesn't end up happening.

Like, let's say we had an activity or trip planned, and then it got canceled for some reason.

Sure, there's a let-down, a bit of disappointment, immediately when finding out.

But that doesn't take away the happy feelings they enjoyed for days when they thought they were going. (But maybe don't try this at home, and definitely not on purpose- that's just mean:)

This also works best when you can discern between hopes and expectations. (More on that in my book:)

The cherry blossoms this time of year are gorgeous, but my favorite part about Spring is the way it hints at Summer.

To me, a difference between rushing the current moment versus enjoying anticipation, has to do with focus. It's like the "horizon of healthy thinking" of looking ahead: when getting excited about what's to come enhances the current moment, then it can feel great not to always be so "present."

Can you guess the connection between these musings and this week's Torah portion?

Hint: it's also connected to this general time in the Jewish calendar.

Yup! (I'm assuming you got it right- and if you didn't, you can pretend you did:)

It's the Omer- the counting of seven weeks between the holidays of Passover and Shavuos.

There's a lot of symbolic literature on that, but one of the classic observations I love is that it's not a count-down, it's a count-up!

What?

When we count down to an exciting event, we would say: "49 days left to go, 48, 47, 46, etc."

But the way we count the Omer is upwards from one.

This represents the ability to both look forward to and prepare for a future event, while also appreciating and utilizing each day along the way.

It's a cumulative progression, not just X-ing off calendar boxes, but collecting experiences, accomplishments, and wisdom as we go.

(Or as our school teachers used to say: "not just counting the days, but also making the days count.")

The event of receiving, studying, and practicing the gift of Torah is an ongoing, active and constant process. It transcends past, present, and future.

Many years ago, when I was teaching in a local school and very pregnant, I was once waiting in the office for some copies. The secretary was an older woman who made a comment about her grandchildren and I replied something like: "Oh I can't wait for grandchildren!"

She then said something that I've thought of often: "Elisheva, don't wish your life away."

It's a useful reframe for me.

While looking ahead with hopeful anticipation is a habit I don't want to quit, I do have a tendency to get impatient with reality- to always be looking down the road at "what's next." 

So sometimes I think of that advice, to remind myself to stop and smell the clean laundry, to slow down to the speed of life (great book, by the way:), and enjoy the looking forward as part of  the present experience.

Do you find anticipation a distraction from being present, or one of life's pleasures? What are some things you look forward to?