This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Dear Elisheva, I can’t decide whether my problem is marital or...

Atara and Azriel are trying to plan a vacation. For the first time since they had kids, they have a chance to get away just the two of...

There's something I've learned in the course of both my work and my spiritual studies has made a profound difference in the way I view...

“Do you know what it’s like to live with someone for six years and not even once have them initiate physical intimacy?” he asks. “Well,...

How do you decide when to start a family? How many kids to have? When to stop having kids? Even if we knew exactly how many kids we hoped...

(This post is adapted from a special edition schmoozeletter.) Last week, I posted what seems to have been a polarizing opinion on social...

Were you taught to believe that “divorce” is a curse word? That we don’t even say the “d” word? When I was a young, idealistic grad...

This will be a short, but I believe, very important post: One of the many awful results of inadequate, misinformed, or nonexistent sex...

Some men say it with embarrassment, others with indignance or frustration, and still others in defeat: “I’m not trying to be demanding or...

I really, really like pizza- it’s probably my favorite meal. In my neighborhood we have about half a dozen different pizza shops. My...

Have you ever noticed that some people will swear that therapy totally changed their lives for the better, and others will say they’ve...

Have you ever wondered how often people have sex? (I purposely used the nebulously awkward euphemism “be intimate” in the title because...

For so many couples, this is their million-dollar question. Hope for their relationship, for their future, hinges on the answer....

Couples therapy is intense work. Back in grad school, I had a professor say: “We’re not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the...

Trigger warning: This post deals with sensitive topics relating to sexual abuse trauma. Ho-kay. This is not really my lane. I don’t treat...

Do you want to work on your relationship in therapy, but have a partner who just doesn’t want to go? Well, you’re not alone. This is a...

Trigger warning: this may be difficult to read for survivors of trauma. Proceed with caution: Gittel and Shuey have been married for...

An Infidelity Dilemma The following story was shared with me by an acquaintance who: Is not a therapy client of mine Specifically asked...

The phone rang, and a shy-sounding young woman introduced herself. “Hi. I’m not really sure if I need therapy. Could I tell you my issue,...

More Shovevim thoughts on enhancing marital intimacy: Something I have struggled with for a few years now is wanting to create and share...

Please Note: This post contains explicit content, is for mature readers only, and may be triggering for survivors of trauma. Fay and her...

As many of you know, one of the most important aspects of the work we do with couples and individuals, is treating the results and...

Tzivi came home from preschool and told her mom that her Morah had gotten upset at her that day. “Morah said I used a bad word. But I...

Really glad you asked. It’s very painful for a man with a healthy libido to be in a marriage where he feels undesired and constantly...

“I’m so happy and grateful- his Rebbe said he’s a meyuchad, a lamdan, really something special.” “I just want to do whatever is best for...

You know that feeling where you finish a conversation, and then a little later, mentally review it and wish you could go back and change...

Several years ago, I had been invited to an event that also featured a talk for kallah teachers, giving by a woman who trains them. At...

“Do You Ever Just Cuddle?” Yael’s arms are folded across her chest, and her legs tightly crossed as she describes her frustration: “I...

Shani prefaces her disclosure with discomfort: “This is not an easy thing to discuss. But it’s an issue for me. It has to do with...

My recent blog post “I’m Not Attracted to my Spouse” has attracted significantly more views, shares, and responses in its first week than...

Raizy, a soft-spoken 24 year old graphic designer, shifted in her seat, hesitant to share her next words. I waited, while she formulated...

Every year around this time, I wonder if this will be the year I try and “do something about it.” These are the weeks we call Shovevim...

What if my b’show didn’t work? This post will undoubtedly elicit strong reactions from readers on both sides of this issue. I want to...

This will be a short, not-so-sweet, but to-the-point post (bordering on rant). To some, what I’m about to say might be obvious, but to...

“About how often would you guys say you are physically intimate?” This question is part of my standard couple intake session, even if the...

Sima had ostensibly done everything “right”. She was a prototypical “aidel maidel”- a respectful daughter, a helpful sister, a caring...

Leah closes her eyes and pauses for a moment, then swallows. I’ve come to recognize this subtlety as a cue that something deeply personal...

The well-groomed young couple settled into the matching navy, velvet club chairs in my office, and glanced at one another. After a beat,...

Shaindy’s eyes filled before she lowered them to examine her lap. She had been feeling stuck and hopeless in her marriage for several...

Elisha and Ariella are a charismatic couple in their early 30s, with a frisky toddler, and a baby on the way. They generally treat each...

Miriam and Chaim had been married for just over ten years, and was happily and busily raising their brood of five healthy children, when...

It’s a magnificent summer night- 75 perfect degrees, and I’m on a delightful walk over a nearby bridge to the beach, with a dear friend...

Beila and Sruly (pseudonyms) are a handsome and charming couple in their 20’s. They were referred by Beila’s private therapist, for an...

Selecting a spouse is possibly the most momentous decision that we humans make over the course of a lifetime. We are choosing our...

Dan and Liz were fighting about their families again. Both educated professional thirty-somethings, they do an impressive job juggling...

Anna was a 28 year old CPA, well respected in her company, and on track for eventual promotions. She married Josh, a 29 year old rising...

Not feeling “in the mood”? You’re not the only one. So many women feel confused, frustrated, guilt-ridden, annoyed, or discouraged-...

Debbie slumped in her chair in a cloud of defeat. “I really do love my husband, and I think he’s handsome, too, but I’m just not a sexual...

In working with couples on their sexual relationships, an issue that arises frequently is the challenge of sex and timing. Sometimes the...

Are you one of those people who don’t like to be touched? Do you get a little queasy when someone moves in for a hug? Does the idea of...