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Relationship Advice from a Donkey
This post was originally a schmoozeletter email in 2021 One of my love languages is book recommendations (also: cut fruit..) I believe...

Elisheva Liss
4 days ago3 min read
When You Feel Intimidated
Note: This was originally posted as a schoozeletter Parsha email for subscribers in 2022: Have you ever heard yourself or someone else...

Elisheva Liss
Jun 173 min read
Happy Still-Alive Day to You
Today is my husband’s 53rd birthday. 53 is not usually a significant number (although it is for him, because he loves when his age is...

Elisheva Liss
May 183 min read
Keeping People's Secrets
The story I'm about to share is over 30 years old, but I still think about it frequently. When I was in middle school, I had a friend who...

Elisheva Liss
Apr 304 min read
When there are no words for the pain
Sometimes, when I'm talking with a client or a friend about something traumatic they've experienced, especially loss, they end up sharing...

Elisheva Liss
Apr 253 min read
Does Pesach mess with your Sefira?
For many years, I had a little issue with the Omer. We'd always been taught that the seven weeks of counting from the holidays of Pesach...

Elisheva Liss
Apr 82 min read
They made a huge mistake
There’s a great motivational quote, attributed to Nelson Mandela: “I never lose, I either win, or I learn.” That’s an empowering way to...

Elisheva Liss
Mar 123 min read
Moving Forward and Moving Up
Originally written: April 26th, 2017 "Good luck movin' up cuz I'm movin' out!" You might recognize that line from the chorus of a Billy...

Elisheva Liss
Mar 66 min read
Is this phony or helpful?
This was originally published as a schmoozeletter email in 2021: Someone recently shared an interesting thought with me. She was saying...

Elisheva Liss
Feb 264 min read
When the easy stuff is hard
This was originally written in 2022, as a schmoozeletter subscriber email Yesterday, my kids asked to go for Slurpees. My car needed gas,...

Elisheva Liss
Feb 233 min read
Why I hit my ceiling (literally:)
This post was originally a schmoozeletter email from 2022 There's this odd thing I do sometimes when I'm walking down the steps in my...

Elisheva Liss
Feb 63 min read
"What is even the point?"
*Some of this is adapted from a schmoozeletter email from 2021 Have you been feeling especially down for the last 420 days? For many...

Elisheva Liss
Nov 29, 20244 min read
Does this confuse you too?
*This was originally written in 2021 Do you ever find yourself getting confused by contradictory wisdom? Like, sayings that are quoted...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 25, 20243 min read
Holy Love Songs
In this week's Torah portion we read what is often considered the last formal commandment: "Now write for yourself, this song." What...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 25, 20242 min read
"I want to go home"
*This was originally written in 2022 When my now adult daughter was a tiny, adorable preschooler ( which btw was about 10 minutes ago...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 25, 20243 min read
Me and my big mouth
*This was originally published as a schmoozeletter email in 2022 Decades ago when I was in high school, we had a school-wide assembly...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 19, 20243 min read
Why do people hurt themselves?
One of the most scary symptoms faced by the loved ones of some who suffer from psychological distress is the phenomenon of self-harming...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 29, 20243 min read
What if they never loved each other?
What if we never had that “honeymoon phase” of being in love? A common refrain from many couples therapy clients from certain backgrounds...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 13, 20243 min read
When the world feels broken
This week of the summer always feels a little off for me. Like, mixed confusing feelings. Selfishly- I look forward to the summer all...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 9, 20244 min read
This weird thing got me mad
This was originally a schmoozeletter email, several years ago: Do you ever find that certain things get you mad, but it doesn't really...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 9, 20243 min read
How a camping trip changed our lives
This post was originally written as a schmoozeletter email, several years ago. Have you ever gone camping? As a family, we did it a total...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 2, 20244 min read
Intimacy as a Journey
*This was originally a schmoozeletter email* I once read someone describe the time period we're living through as "the age of metaphor."...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 2, 20244 min read
Mosquito Bites and Evil Eyes
*This was originally a schmoozeletter email in 2021 Do you have any things that most people dislike but you kind of like? For me, it's...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 18, 20243 min read
No clue why I did this
This was originally published as a subscriber schmoozeletter email, a few years ago: Today I was thinking about something that happened...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 12, 20243 min read
They said they wished they'd died
Hi, I'm trying something new. You might know that I send out a(n almost) weekly email as a free subscription. It's been several years...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 12, 20244 min read
Dear America: Thank you for having us
Dear America: Thank You for Having Us Growing up, one of the central messages I absorbed from both my home and school was the importance...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 4, 20244 min read
What do couples fight about most?
“What's the biggest struggle you see in couples today?” This is one of the most common questions couples therapists hear, and there’s...

Elisheva Liss
Jun 3, 20246 min read
What's the danger embedded in the "free Palestine" advocacy trend?
When I was a kid, there was this mean teasing game kids played on each other, by simply repeating everything one person said. I haven't...

Elisheva Liss
May 14, 202411 min read
"I Believe with Imperfect Faith"
What do you say when there’s nothing to say? The email request from the editor to write about the only thing on most of our minds came in...

Elisheva Liss
Oct 11, 20234 min read
Some Bad Parts
What a jarring wake up call. Last week, I was reading the book “No Bad Parts” by Dr. Richard Schwartz. I chose it intentionally for this...

Elisheva Liss
Oct 11, 20234 min read
Men are sometimes surprised to learn this about pleasuring
Trigger warning: this post will be more explicit than usual. (It's excerpted from one of the schmoozeletter emails) Often, when working...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 27, 20234 min read
What if you can't just "forgive and forget?"
Dear Elisheva, Every year around this time I struggle with the idea of asking and granting what feels like lip-service forgiveness. As...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 6, 20236 min read
Avinu Malkeinu: A Prayer-Inspired Essay on Parenthood
Parented by G-d, and Parenting G-d’s Children One of the most challenging, if unoriginal, theological struggles for me personally has...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 28, 20238 min read
The Nation that Wanted to Die
“We wish we had died! We wish we had died!” Cry out the people who personally experienced miraculous salvation. “If only we had died in...

Elisheva Liss
Jun 15, 20232 min read
10 Tips for Preempting/ Avoiding Family Drama over the Holidays/Yom Tov
The yomim tovim / Jewish holidays are often “busy season” for Orthodox therapists. In our communities, where there’s a profound emphasis...

Elisheva Liss
Apr 4, 20236 min read
Why are they doing this to me?"
*This was originally a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, My problem comes up mostly around Shabbos and Yom Tov family...

Elisheva Liss
Apr 3, 20237 min read
"Why Won't My In-laws Support Us?"
*This was originally a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, My wife and I have been married for almost three years, and...

Elisheva Liss
Mar 8, 20235 min read
A Lesson about Intimacy Featuring: Queen Esther, Achashverosh, Consent, and "Dead-Fishing"
Trigger Warning: This post deals with explicit and psychologically raw topics. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 74b)questions how Queen Esther could...

Elisheva Liss
Mar 6, 20233 min read


Education without soul
Originally published: Feb 2017 Leah [pseudonym] is a 21 year old assistant preschool teacher in a beis yaakov school and part time...

Elisheva Liss
Feb 16, 20234 min read
He was both happy and horrified
*Due to a misunderstanding about a deadline for a guest post on another site, I ended up with a "spare" mini-article this week, and opted...

Elisheva Liss
Feb 7, 20233 min read
"Am I a Bais Yaakov Lesbian?"
Chani was 20 years old when she presented for therapy. The official referral was “anxiety about dating,” but when she began to share, it...

Elisheva Liss
Dec 13, 20229 min read
"My prayers weren't answered"
Recently, I tweeted the following: "Please don’t tell people that if they pray hard enough, they’ll get what they want. And please,...

Elisheva Liss
Oct 20, 20225 min read
10 Ideas of What Not to Comment on when Spending Time with Extended Family (or Other Humans):
When families get together in clans, for holidays, celebrations, or other occasions, sometimes interactions that are well-meaning can...

Elisheva Liss
Oct 7, 20223 min read
Freaked Out About Yom Kippur
*This post was originally published as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times.* Dear Elisheva, My problem is on a low simmer most of...

Elisheva Liss
Sep 29, 20227 min read
A Total Eclipse of my Son
*This essay was written five years ago* Will the two-dimensional cardboard and plastic “glasses” we borrowed from our friends really be...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 30, 20223 min read
Anxiety and Elul
Tami, a motivated college student, sought help to deal with her test taking anxiety. She describes her symptoms: “I just get so nervous...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 29, 20223 min read
"My daughter blames me for her marriage problems"
*This post was originally published as a State of Mind column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, My family is in a...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 28, 20227 min read
Tu B'Av's Dark Back Story
Can you smell love in the air? (That might just be your neighbor’s bbq grill. Go ahead and ask them to toss a few extra dogs on for you.)...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 12, 20222 min read
"What if I never have a happy marriage?"
*This is an excerpt from one of my schmoozeletter emails.* One of the more painful categories of work we do is talking with people who ...

Elisheva Liss
Aug 11, 20224 min read
Was My Kid Brainwashed in Seminary?
*This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times Dear Elisheva, Our oldest daughter just returned home from her year...

Elisheva Liss
Jul 20, 20227 min read
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